The Defiant Princess Page 23

  “She’s still at the palace in Turastan, under my father’s protection for now.”

  What the hell was that supposed to mean?

  “I’m sorry I left you,” he told her, as though he sensed her thoughts.

  But not so sorry that he didn’t still have Inaya ensconced at the Turastani royal palace! Was he really thinking he could keep her as his mistress, or was their marriage over? Nothing made sense. She thought she remembered him telling her he loved her. Obviously she’d been delusional.

  “I hope she is worth it.”

  He frowned.

  “I saw the newspaper, Khalid.” Part of her was angry, but a larger part of her was defeated. “I know you’d had Inaya brought to the palace in Turastan to spend the night with her.

  He looked aghast and his body drew back away from her. “You think I took Inaya to my bed?”

  “No. I think you stayed up together playing Scrabble all night!”

  “Sabihah, you’re wrong.” Each word was furious denial.

  She arched an eyebrow and sent him a false, saccharine-sweet smile. “Apologies. I forgot how little I know you. Is it Naked Twister you prefer?”

  Damn him to hell. She was exhausted and felt incredibly weepy, but she would not let him see how upset she was—how bitterly betrayed and jealous.

  “I didn’t have Inaya brought to the palace. She came because she had information about Mustaf,” he told her forcefully. “Mustaf held her brother prisoner in Rhajia on a trumped-up charge to force Inaya to spy on me. He threatened to kill her brother if she didn’t cooperate.”

  Sabrina felt her jaw drop.

  Khalid shook his head as though he was still trying to come to terms with it. “She gave me a wristwatch containing a listening device. That was how Mustaf knew about you, how you were put in danger.” He stood and paced the room while she remained speechless. “You have every right to have her thrown in prison for her betrayal but ultimately the information she gave me saved your life. I organised for Inaya and her brother to stay at the palace for their own safety until I knew that Mustaf and Hamil had been captured.”

  Sabrina looked closely at him as he championed Inaya. Just how much did he care for her?

  “She should’ve come to me immediately,” he continued, “but she was scared for her brother. Since you ordered the arrests of all citizens to be investigated, her brother’s charges were found to be false and he was released. That was only yesterday. Both Inaya and her brother came to the palace to give me all the information they had.”

  Sabrina chose her words carefully. “In that case, I will not have her thrown in prison for I may well have done the same thing if I’d had a brother.”

  “I hope not. I hope you’ll always come to me with whatever problems you have.” Part of his words sounded like a warning. He raised a hand and rubbed it along the back of his neck.

  “I don’t understand where we’re at. Do we still have a marriage, Khalid?”

  His regret was palpable. “I’ve been a fool about a lot of things, Sabihah. I’ve also been a coward.”

  There were a lot of words she could use to describe Khalid. Coward wasn’t one of them. “Hardly. Although you’ve never talked to me about your time in the Turastani army, I’ve heard from the Rhajian house staff of some of your deeds of bravery.” He started to protest but she continued. “Today you were in full commando attack, bursting through that window and coming to my rescue.”

  “It’s never been a problem to put my body on the line.” He grimaced. “Maybe, due to the arrogance you’ve accused me of, I’ve always considered myself invincible.” He inhaled an audible breath and took both her hands in his. “My true cowardice has been in not having the courage to put my heart on the line.”

  She swallowed hard and felt teary again as this strong, warrior of the desert admitted to a weakness. That he trusted her enough to make this confession was a great beginning. Her heart swelled with hope and she hung on his every word. Maybe, just maybe they could bridge the emotional chasm between them.

  “What you said was true,” he told her. “I was running away from my feelings for you, but now we’ve been apart I know that I adore you and can’t imagine living life without you. I ignored what I really felt, tried to rationalise it and ignore it. I kept telling myself that if I ever lost my heart it would be my downfall.”

  “Why, Khalid? What were you afraid of?” she asked gently. “I’d like to understand what’s happened to make you feel this way.”

  The column of his throat worked up and down. Amazed, she noted the faint glisten of moisture in his eyes. “I’ve been running for a long time. I thought love made people vulnerable to hurt, and I didn’t want to experience that hurt again.”

  “Who hurt you?”

  He was about to release her hands, but she held firmly to his. “It seems stupid now,” he said with a self-derisory laugh. “I allowed myself to be scarred by a romance at university. Why I’ve carried that hurt around with me all these years, I really can’t say now. It was so long ago, I should have left it behind me and I feel ashamed that I didn’t. I know now that what I felt for her was certainly not love. I can put that into perspective since I’ve met you.”

  He could? She began caressing his hands. “Was this woman a student?”

  “No. She was older, a lecturer. She fascinated me and I thought I loved her. But the fact she was an older woman makes me wonder whether I was just seeking some type of love and approval from her because my mother never showed me any affection.”

  Sabrina’s heart contracted as she saw the vulnerability in his expression.

  “Every time I got close to my nannies, my mother would find some fault with them and they’d be replaced. The only person I’ve ever been close to was Hazim, and he was killed.”

  “Khalid, that wasn’t your fault,” she told him fiercely. “It was an accident—a tragic turn of events that nobody could foresee. Fatalities happen that way every day. A string of events cause an end result that’s sometimes good and sometimes bad.”

  The tremble of his lip was only just detectable. “You’ve helped me to accept that.”

  She felt her shoulders relax. “I’m so glad.” It struck her that perhaps she was seeing the real him for the first time and she was thrilled that she would finally know the vulnerable side of him that he’d preferred to keep hidden.

  His expression was unveiled. An emotion blazed from his eyes that she had never seen before. Hope and excitement made her heart contract. Everything she’d always wanted him to feel for her was reflected in his eyes.

  He kissed her hands. “You’ve changed my life, my love. You’ve chipped away at all the defences I built around my heart and found your way into it before I knew what hit me.”

  “Truly?” Joy bubbled through her veins.

  “I love you, Sabihah. I tried to convince myself that what I was feeling was just amazing physical attraction. I tried to keep you at arm’s length, even though every day I discovered more about you that I admired and respected.” He made a sound of self-disgust. “I told myself we were compatible and that was good. I refused to even think that I loved you.”

  This time the tears that misted her eyes were ones of pure happiness.

  “I was so angry the morning I left for Turastan. You’d cornered me. I told myself I could walk away from you, but I discovered I couldn’t walk away from my true feelings.” He moved up the bed so he could put his arm around her and hold her close. “It was sheer hell being away from you and I would’ve flown back to you within an hour of arriving in Turastan except that security had their suspicions about Inaya and wanted to question me. Then they found the listening device in my watch and I wanted to be there when she was questioned.”

  “Didn’t you say she’d come to the palace to seek you out?”

  “Yes and I’m glad she did because I was about to order that she be arrested. I couldn’t believe I’d been so thoroughly duped.”

  “You’re human, K
halid. We all have our faults and our weaknesses.”

  “Yet you told me you love me, despite those faults and weaknesses.”

  She smiled at him and he brushed a kiss against her temple. “All you said to me about loving me, about sharing the events of the day, watching me, listening to my voice … it’s the same way for me when I’m with you, Sabihah. And, when you described your feelings of love as encompassing those things, I felt I’d been hit over the head with a sledgehammer. I had to get away. I needed time to try to claw back some rationalisation, even though I knew all along that I was fighting against something I couldn’t win.”

  He kissed her slowly and passionately. It was a kiss that touched her soul.

  “Can you forgive me for not trusting you earlier with my heart?” A shade of doubt tinged his face.

  She gave him a tremulous smile, almost drowning in the depth of love and uncertainty in his tawny-gold eyes. She angled her body so she could be more fully in his arms and clung firmly to him, trying to dispel any doubts he may have. “I love you more than I ever thought was possible to love someone. You’re my life, Khalid.”

  “And you are mine, Sabihah. Without you my world is empty. I didn’t realise I was living in shades of black and white until you burst into my life in vibrant technicolour.”

  She grinned at him, certain her entire face must be illuminated with her happiness. “I had no idea you were so poetic.”

  He smiled right back then sobered. Tapping the tip of one finger against her nose, he said, “Blue.”

  “Blue?” She frowned.

  “My favourite colour. You asked me the night we fought and I didn’t tell you. You were right when you said there are a lot of things we don’t know about each other, and I promise you we’ll spend time away from matters of state getting to know each other.”

  “Light or dark blue?” she teased.

  His lips twitched. “The exact colour of your eyes.”

  “Oh, you are smooth, Prince Khalid.”

  “Smooth and poetic. Although I can’t claim to have been poetic before I met you.”

  She placed a hand against his chest and moved it so that it lay over his heart. “So I bring out the best in you?”

  “Absolutely. I should never have fought my feelings for you.” He covered her hand with his own and intertwined their fingers. “I never will again.”

  “I’m so happy, Khalid.” She snuggled against him. “Happier than I’ve ever been.”

  “I will do all I can to ensure that your every day is filled with joy,” he said as he stroked his fingers through her hair.

  “All my life I’ve felt like I’ve never really belonged. Finally, I feel like I belong with you in Rhajia.”

  “And Turastan.”

  “Yes,” she agreed. “I want to fall asleep listening to your heartbeat every night and I want to wake in your arms. It doesn’t matter which country we’re in, as long as I’m with you.”

  “As soon as Rhajia has more stability, we’ll divide our times equally between both countries.”

  She placed a kiss against the skin at the open vee of his shirt and stifled a secret smile. “Our firstborn child will be the joint ruler of both nations.”

  He nuzzled her hair. “Mm. When that happens, it’ll be the cause of great celebration in our lands. But most importantly, I will be thrilled to know we’ve created a child we can love together. For now, I will enjoy having you to myself.”

  Angling her head up, she looked directly at him as she said, “Then you’d better make every second count over the next thirty-four weeks.”

  “Thirty-four weeks?” He drew back from her, looking awe-struck. “You’re pregnant?”

  “I’ll see a doctor to confirm it, but I’m pretty certain.”

  His face lit up with joy as he placed a hand on her abdomen. “That’s fabulous news. I … Do you think it’s fabulous news?”

  “Of course! But, I do need to see a doctor before you get too excited.”

  “Sabihah, we’re in a hospital. I’ll call the doctor to examine you straight away. We need to make sure you and our baby haven’t been hurt in any way after all of this.”

  “I’m sure it’s all fine, Khalid. You’re not going to try to wrap me in cotton wool, I hope, because you should know by now I’m made of sterner stuff.”

  The love and admiration he felt for her was reflected in his tender gaze. “You, my defiant princess, shall need to learn to do as you are told and allow me the joy of caring for you with all my heart and soul.”

  “That would be so romantic if I didn’t know it was just you making the most of the situation so you can be bossy and arrogant and try to keep me in my place,” she joked.

  He smiled, then moved his hand in a reverent circular motion over her abdomen. “You’re giving me a child to love.”

  “One of many children, I hope.”

  “I will love each of them and make sure they know it. But most of all, I will love their mother.”

  “Can we go back to the palace so you can show me how much?” she asked, grinning.

  “Just as soon as the doctor checks you once again and gives you the all clear.”

  “That will take too long,” she complained.

  “Not as long as it took me to realise how lucky I am.” He kissed her deeply as he reached for the call button to summon the doctor to her side.

  “Khalid,” she whispered against his mouth, “If we have a son, I’d like to call him Hazim Akram.”

  The muscles in his arm tensed fractionally then relaxed. “Once I would’ve been insecure about that suggestion. I would’ve wondered whether you carried a torch for my brother.”

  “Seriously? You’d be way off-base.”

  He placed a finger to her lips to silence her and gave her a smile that had her pulse racing. “I think it’s a wonderful way to honour my brother and your father. I no longer have those insecurities about Hazim, Sabihah. I’m secure in my love for you, and yours for me. Our marriage is a love match and I will spend every single day proving it to you. If we have a son, the birth of Prince Hazim Akram will be greatly celebrated.”

  ***

  The nations of Rhajia and Turastan celebrated the Christening of Prince Hazim eight months later.

  On the palace balcony in Rhajia, King Hassan cradled the little prince proudly with one arm and waved to the crowd of well-wishers who had filled the palace courtyard and the streets beyond. “Your parents would have been very proud, Sabihah,” Khalid’s father told her.

  “Not as proud as I am,” Khalid said. He took her hand and kissed it. “I love you habiba.”

  Sabrina’s heart flipped at the love and pride that shone from his eyes. No longer the lost Princess of Rhajia, she was where she belonged with the man she loved. “Life couldn’t be more perfect, Khalid.” Her sigh was one of pure contentment as she was enfolded in his embrace and the people cheered and clapped.

  The end

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